WHEN SOMEONE POINTS OUT THAT I'M KIND OF A MESS
When I\'m driving & someone tries to put on their...
Conversations with my mom: Juggling
Scene: My mom picks up my beginners juggling kit. Me: I am learning how to juggle. My mom: So you can impress the boys? I roll my eyes. Me: Last time I checked, guys weren’t into girls who could juggle and are watching Star Wars movies all weekend. My mom: I don’t know. Boys usually like girls who can juggle balls. Me: UGH! Why do you insist on slipping sexual innuendoes into our...
Conversations with my mom: Fifty Shades of Grey
Scene: My mom and I are strolling through Target taking our time when I see the smut phenomenon known as “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Me: Oh look it’s the book you wanted for Mother’s Day, “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I pick it up and dance it around her face. She takes it from my hand. Me: Are you going to buy it? My mom: I don’t know if I should. Me: Why...
Conversations with my mom: Drugs
Me: I’ve never done drugs in my life. Not even smoked pot. My mom: Neither have I, well except pot. I tried a puff of pot once with Timmy. I hated it. I told him, ‘Maybe if you put that shit in some brownies.’